Text 22 Sep 63,097 notes

shrimpfur:

Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them

"suck my dick" ok

“bite me” hell yeah

"kiss my ass" sure

Photo 3 Sep 92,069 notes nathanmorrow:

shithowdy:

Fun fact: if you approach an employee and insist that they go ‘check the back’ for an item that’s not on the shelf, there is a 90% chance that they’ll go to the back room, scratch their ass and check their text messages for five minutes, and come back out with a sympathetic smile and a ‘Sorry!’ because they know without even looking that the stock isn’t there.

Or the old “can you ask a manager?”

nathanmorrow:

shithowdy:

Fun fact: if you approach an employee and insist that they go ‘check the back’ for an item that’s not on the shelf, there is a 90% chance that they’ll go to the back room, scratch their ass and check their text messages for five minutes, and come back out with a sympathetic smile and a ‘Sorry!’ because they know without even looking that the stock isn’t there.

Or the old “can you ask a manager?”

(Source: notalwaysright.com)

Video 3 Sep 306,061 notes

(Source: College Humor)

Photo 3 Sep 205,850 notes

(Source: nancydrevv)

Text 31 Aug 1,048,355 notes

spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

Quote 31 Aug 8,962 notes
We loved with a love that was more than love.
— Edgar Allan Poe (via feellng)
Video 31 Aug 38,339 notes

r-emnant:

i went shopping for school supplies yesterday

Text 31 Aug 480,316 notes

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post

Text 30 Aug 490,318 notes

captainnaustralia:

captainnaustralia:

fun fact: once in biology my teacher told us that “if you’re ever crying wipe the tears all over your face and they’ll help clear up your skin” then he explained that because tears are designed to clear dust and dirt from your eyes and will do the same for your skin and clear up acne and i remember thinking “excellent, fandom will make me beautiful”

image

this isn’t how i want to be remembered 

Photo 28 Aug 632 notes zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here


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